October 21, 2009: The Mouse Must Die

LOLSCHACH's Journal: October 21, 2009:

Received call from Dreiberg today. Haven't heard from him in quite a while. Found it odd. Rumor he's currently touring the world. Asked LOLSCHACH to ship him chocolate-covered bacon. Fatty.

Denied his request. Told him about new exercise routine LOLSCHACH has started, P90x. Gets LOLSCHACH pumped. Dreiberg did not seem enthusiastic. Quickly changed subject.

"LOLLY (hate that), Have you heard? About the coolest game ever? I mean it's like Disney grew some balls-"

Hung up on Dreiberg immediately. Cannot stand corporate whores. Remind me of Veidt.
Sucker children in young age. Suck the life blood out of Americans. Get them hooked on inferior products.

Veidt. Hate him.

Remember good old days of Disney. Important Part of LOLSCHACH's youth. Now Disney shills out whores with identity conflicts and boys who preach abstinence while grinding against their guitars.


Decide Disney must be stopped once and for all. Decide to be ironic and cause the Mouse to fall to his death like so many others.

But first, must do some research. Seems the Mouse had embarrassed himself in a recent incident, revealing to the masses that he had been playing them like a harp from hell. Public quickly forgot. But LOLSCHACH never forgets.

Look for Disney's next step after previous incident. Codenamed "Epic Disney".

Wow. Impressed. All is forgiven, Disney.

June 21, 2009: Father's Day

May 28, 2009: Disney--Further Investigation

LOLSCHACH's Journal: May 28, 2009

Recent investigations into the world of Walt Disney have uncovered a terrible darkside. Racism. Sexism. Antisemitism. Siamese cats playing the piano with chopsticks.

Exhumed Walt Disney. Empty casket. Hurm. Fear the dark spectre of his shadow continues to loom over generations of youth, corrupting them with a never ending stream of bile and hate.

"Never ending"... Of Course.

The Jew-hating zombie of Walt Disney is behind the endless cascade of quality-challenged straight-to-video sequels of classic Disney films. So long as film series continue, their malignent messages of paranoia and despair can continue perpetually onward.

Must stop this. Make it a priority. After The Simpsons.

May 15, 2009: Childhood Nostalgia

LOLSCHACH's Journal: May 15, 2009

Lolschach is many things. "Nostalgic" is not one of them.

However, mind tends to wander from time to time, occasionally back to the days of my youth. Decent childhood. Efficient. No bells or whistles. Was fed, cleaned, clothed and given necessary provisions for survival. No child should ask for more. Those that do, the screaming spoiled wretches at the toy stores and the bawling sacks of excrement at Chuck E. Cheese's, they deserve a good paddling.

LOLSCHACH was not bad very often. Occasionally acted up. Hurm. Stupid brat. Failed. Failures I will never live down. Father put me in place. Taught me valuable lesson: unacceptable behavior requires extreme retaliation. Never made same mistakes twice. Shaped me into ideal, well-balanced adult male.

Father was patient as a saint. Never spanked LOLSCHACH. Did this, instead:


Father was a great man.

My mother, MILFSCHACH, cared for him deeply. She eventually stabbed him in the neck with a broken whiskey bottle, killing him. Still have not managed to rectify the first sentence with the second. Though I do recall photo father had framed on the mantle, taken during their honeymoon:


LOLSCHACH knows very little about love, though am pretty sure that mother and father embodied it completely.

April 28, 2009: Disney

LOLSCHACH's Journal: April 28, 2009

Went to movie theater again today. Not interested in seeing anything. Only place I can pour melted butter onto sugar cubes for free. While pouring butter, look up at big screen TV in lobby playing trailers. See teaser for latest Walt Disney animated feature film.


Disgusting. Woman contemplates having oral sex with small green amphibian. It is LOLSCHACH's understanding that kissing is what "oral sex" is. Wouldn't know. Avoid all things sexual. Whatever the case, it is sick and it is wrong. Have already dealt with furries and their bestiality-related cravings. Now impressionable children are being brainwashed into believing such heinous and immoral acts are acceptible?

No. Disney has crossed the line.

Tremendous shame. Seeing former bastion of wholesome family entertainment corrupted in such a fashion. Woman comitting unspeakable acts upon helpless animal is African American. Horrible. Racist. Recall days when Walt Disney was above such things. Treated African American characters with dignity. Respect.



Recall other Disney animated film made a few years back. "Mulan". About Oriental woman. Cross-dresser. Possible lesbian. Tremendously inappropriate and offensive portrayal of Orientals in general. Again reminded of better times, when Disney were above such ignorant generalizations.


Oddly, Disney has yet to make animated film focusing strictly on Jewish cast. Have not seen Jewish character in Disney animation since 1930s.


Simpler times. Better times.

Awareness of Disney's intent on corrupting children across the globe spurs me into action. Toss sugar cubes aside. Drink butter straight from tap. Am kicked out of movie theater. Hijack plane. Arrive in Hollywood. Busy day.

Turns out Walt Disney died in 1966. Hurm.

Resolve to exhume corpse and rough it up some. Locate Disney's grave. Had heard rumors he had been cryogenically frozen to be revived at later date. Preposterous. Dig up coffin.

Empty...?

Perhaps rumors warrant investigation. Begin closing coffin. Feel something strange; hidden in fabric lining. Pull it out. Framed picture.


Mystery thickens.