Friday, May 15, 2009

May 15, 2009: Childhood Nostalgia

LOLSCHACH's Journal: May 15, 2009

Lolschach is many things. "Nostalgic" is not one of them.

However, mind tends to wander from time to time, occasionally back to the days of my youth. Decent childhood. Efficient. No bells or whistles. Was fed, cleaned, clothed and given necessary provisions for survival. No child should ask for more. Those that do, the screaming spoiled wretches at the toy stores and the bawling sacks of excrement at Chuck E. Cheese's, they deserve a good paddling.

LOLSCHACH was not bad very often. Occasionally acted up. Hurm. Stupid brat. Failed. Failures I will never live down. Father put me in place. Taught me valuable lesson: unacceptable behavior requires extreme retaliation. Never made same mistakes twice. Shaped me into ideal, well-balanced adult male.

Father was patient as a saint. Never spanked LOLSCHACH. Did this, instead:

Father was a great man.

My mother, MILFSCHACH, cared for him deeply. She eventually stabbed him in the neck with a broken whiskey bottle, killing him. Still have not managed to rectify the first sentence with the second. Though I do recall photo father had framed on the mantle, taken during their honeymoon:

LOLSCHACH knows very little about love, though am pretty sure that mother and father embodied it completely.


  1. Whaaa? Rorschach's father was never around to abuse him.

  2. You're correct. Rorschach's father was never around.

    This isn't Rorschach though.

  3. Screaming "It's Goofy Time!" would be more than enough punishment for any sort of misdemeanor!At least Lolschach turned out alright.

  4. poor innocent little lolschach