Showing posts with label Race. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Race. Show all posts
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
May 27, 2009: The Manburger
LOLSCHACH's Journal: May 27, 2009
Observe horror at local eatery. Ever since canister of green ooze from the Techno Cosmic Research Institute was thrown from that truck, there have been Millions of Unusual Small Creatures Lurking Everywhere.
I dubbed this one, "The Manburger". Probable mutant. Or possibly from the land of Rand McNally, where they wear hats on their feet and hamburgers eat people.
Further investigation required. After lunch.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
April 28, 2009: Disney
LOLSCHACH's Journal: April 28, 2009
Went to movie theater again today. Not interested in seeing anything. Only place I can pour melted butter onto sugar cubes for free. While pouring butter, look up at big screen TV in lobby playing trailers. See teaser for latest Walt Disney animated feature film.
Disgusting. Woman contemplates having oral sex with small green amphibian. It is LOLSCHACH's understanding that kissing is what "oral sex" is. Wouldn't know. Avoid all things sexual. Whatever the case, it is sick and it is wrong. Have already dealt with furries and their bestiality-related cravings. Now impressionable children are being brainwashed into believing such heinous and immoral acts are acceptible?
No. Disney has crossed the line.
Tremendous shame. Seeing former bastion of wholesome family entertainment corrupted in such a fashion. Woman comitting unspeakable acts upon helpless animal is African American. Horrible. Racist. Recall days when Walt Disney was above such things. Treated African American characters with dignity. Respect.
Recall other Disney animated film made a few years back. "Mulan". About Oriental woman. Cross-dresser. Possible lesbian. Tremendously inappropriate and offensive portrayal of Orientals in general. Again reminded of better times, when Disney were above such ignorant generalizations.
Oddly, Disney has yet to make animated film focusing strictly on Jewish cast. Have not seen Jewish character in Disney animation since 1930s.
Simpler times. Better times.
Awareness of Disney's intent on corrupting children across the globe spurs me into action. Toss sugar cubes aside. Drink butter straight from tap. Am kicked out of movie theater. Hijack plane. Arrive in Hollywood. Busy day.
Turns out Walt Disney died in 1966. Hurm.
Resolve to exhume corpse and rough it up some. Locate Disney's grave. Had heard rumors he had been cryogenically frozen to be revived at later date. Preposterous. Dig up coffin.
Empty...?
Perhaps rumors warrant investigation. Begin closing coffin. Feel something strange; hidden in fabric lining. Pull it out. Framed picture.
Mystery thickens.
Went to movie theater again today. Not interested in seeing anything. Only place I can pour melted butter onto sugar cubes for free. While pouring butter, look up at big screen TV in lobby playing trailers. See teaser for latest Walt Disney animated feature film.
Disgusting. Woman contemplates having oral sex with small green amphibian. It is LOLSCHACH's understanding that kissing is what "oral sex" is. Wouldn't know. Avoid all things sexual. Whatever the case, it is sick and it is wrong. Have already dealt with furries and their bestiality-related cravings. Now impressionable children are being brainwashed into believing such heinous and immoral acts are acceptible?
No. Disney has crossed the line.
Tremendous shame. Seeing former bastion of wholesome family entertainment corrupted in such a fashion. Woman comitting unspeakable acts upon helpless animal is African American. Horrible. Racist. Recall days when Walt Disney was above such things. Treated African American characters with dignity. Respect.
Recall other Disney animated film made a few years back. "Mulan". About Oriental woman. Cross-dresser. Possible lesbian. Tremendously inappropriate and offensive portrayal of Orientals in general. Again reminded of better times, when Disney were above such ignorant generalizations.
Oddly, Disney has yet to make animated film focusing strictly on Jewish cast. Have not seen Jewish character in Disney animation since 1930s.
Simpler times. Better times.
Awareness of Disney's intent on corrupting children across the globe spurs me into action. Toss sugar cubes aside. Drink butter straight from tap. Am kicked out of movie theater. Hijack plane. Arrive in Hollywood. Busy day.
Turns out Walt Disney died in 1966. Hurm.
Resolve to exhume corpse and rough it up some. Locate Disney's grave. Had heard rumors he had been cryogenically frozen to be revived at later date. Preposterous. Dig up coffin.
Empty...?
Perhaps rumors warrant investigation. Begin closing coffin. Feel something strange; hidden in fabric lining. Pull it out. Framed picture.
Mystery thickens.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
June 8, 1972: Little Rock, Arkansas
WKKK Little Rock 92.3 FM "Froschach's Fifteen Minutes of Funk" Broadcast: June 8, 1972
What it is, jive-turkeys! This is FROSCHACH comin' atcha wif fifteen minutes of funk sans tha junk. Why fifteen minutes? Cuz anymore 'n Tha Man would call it "Welfare", dig?
Gotsta say, Li'l Rock, all ya'll gone crazy up in here, I'm tellin' ya! Heard tha news off tha street: some honkey callin' hisself Doctor "Tha Man" Hattan done gone outta his god damned mind down in Asian Town, yesterday. Just went from laundromat ta laundromat, blowin' them suckaz up wif a point of his finger!
If he was pullin' this trash over in 'Lanta, it wouldn't be no thang, but this is Tha Rock, son! This is FROSCHACH's hood! Had ta step on up ta dat big blue cracka 'n set hiz ass straight! I was all, "What's yo damage, Clyde? You gots a prob you take it to da Hill! Don'tchu be comin' round mah crib wif yo li'l blue dick all hangin' out, bustin' up mah homeez wif yo magic finger!"
Then Hattan juzt be starin' at me, like he done got hiz junk caught in some nu-ku-lah accelerator. Says ta FROSCHACH, "Please do not interfere, sir. I am performing a public service."
All I had ta say ta dat was "Hey-ell NAW!" Honkey tryin' ta say dat bustin' up mah homeez iz a "public service"? FROSCHACH ain't havin' dat, foo'. Cracka be trippin', all there'z to it. Stared at me foh 'bout ten secondz then turned hiz flabby blue azz backward 'n got tha hell outta mah hood.
Hattan may be blue, but FROSCHACH is BLACK. Sheeeeeeeeeee-it.
So then I go back ta mah Caddy 'n what happenz? Some honkey be tryin' ta tow mah baby! Sucka'z truck says "Adrian White's Towing Service". Yeah, leave it ta Whitey ta pick tha Black Man's ride outta tha whole mutha luvin' lot.
So I strut on up ta dat damn foo' in hiz purple jumpsuit 'n golden tiara 'n give dat mofo a piece uv mah mind. Cracka sayz if I didn't wanna get towed then I "should have put another nickel in the meter thirty-five minutes ago".
Foo' be crazy. Who he think he iz, tellin' FROSCHACH where ta park 'n when ta pay? These streets belong ta FROSCHACH!
So what's dat cracka do?
Vertically leaps seventeen feet in tha air, kick me nine times in tha face then stab mah hand wif a fork! Where the hell he get a fork? Then honkey just drive off wif mah Caddy.
Some racist junk right there, dig?
But it ain't no thang. I'll deal wif his cracka ass later. Not like dat jive-turkey can be catchin' bullets, right?
Aw day-umn. Pencil-neck li'l honkey in a suit be stickin' his head into tha studio. Ya'll know what dat meanz: "FROSCHACH's Fifteen Minutes of Funk" be up. Check it, I'll be back next week; same time, same station. Try not ta let Tha Man getcha til then.
Peace out, foos.
--------------------
LOLSCHACH's Journal: April 18, 2009
Not entirely sure how FROSCHACH could possibly be related to myself. Found cassette tape recording of broadcast lying under bookshelf in basement of library. Have checked public records at WKKK circa 1972. No documentation of a "FROSCHACH's Fifteen Minutes of Funk" program ever existing. Quite possible this was demo tape. Very, very unorthodox demo tape.
Either way, it must be destroyed to preserve family heritage. No one must know of black sheep in LOLSCHACH family tree.
What it is, jive-turkeys! This is FROSCHACH comin' atcha wif fifteen minutes of funk sans tha junk. Why fifteen minutes? Cuz anymore 'n Tha Man would call it "Welfare", dig?
Gotsta say, Li'l Rock, all ya'll gone crazy up in here, I'm tellin' ya! Heard tha news off tha street: some honkey callin' hisself Doctor "Tha Man" Hattan done gone outta his god damned mind down in Asian Town, yesterday. Just went from laundromat ta laundromat, blowin' them suckaz up wif a point of his finger!
If he was pullin' this trash over in 'Lanta, it wouldn't be no thang, but this is Tha Rock, son! This is FROSCHACH's hood! Had ta step on up ta dat big blue cracka 'n set hiz ass straight! I was all, "What's yo damage, Clyde? You gots a prob you take it to da Hill! Don'tchu be comin' round mah crib wif yo li'l blue dick all hangin' out, bustin' up mah homeez wif yo magic finger!"
Then Hattan juzt be starin' at me, like he done got hiz junk caught in some nu-ku-lah accelerator. Says ta FROSCHACH, "Please do not interfere, sir. I am performing a public service."
All I had ta say ta dat was "Hey-ell NAW!" Honkey tryin' ta say dat bustin' up mah homeez iz a "public service"? FROSCHACH ain't havin' dat, foo'. Cracka be trippin', all there'z to it. Stared at me foh 'bout ten secondz then turned hiz flabby blue azz backward 'n got tha hell outta mah hood.
Hattan may be blue, but FROSCHACH is BLACK. Sheeeeeeeeeee-it.
So then I go back ta mah Caddy 'n what happenz? Some honkey be tryin' ta tow mah baby! Sucka'z truck says "Adrian White's Towing Service". Yeah, leave it ta Whitey ta pick tha Black Man's ride outta tha whole mutha luvin' lot.
So I strut on up ta dat damn foo' in hiz purple jumpsuit 'n golden tiara 'n give dat mofo a piece uv mah mind. Cracka sayz if I didn't wanna get towed then I "should have put another nickel in the meter thirty-five minutes ago".
Foo' be crazy. Who he think he iz, tellin' FROSCHACH where ta park 'n when ta pay? These streets belong ta FROSCHACH!
So what's dat cracka do?
Vertically leaps seventeen feet in tha air, kick me nine times in tha face then stab mah hand wif a fork! Where the hell he get a fork? Then honkey just drive off wif mah Caddy.
Some racist junk right there, dig?
But it ain't no thang. I'll deal wif his cracka ass later. Not like dat jive-turkey can be catchin' bullets, right?
Aw day-umn. Pencil-neck li'l honkey in a suit be stickin' his head into tha studio. Ya'll know what dat meanz: "FROSCHACH's Fifteen Minutes of Funk" be up. Check it, I'll be back next week; same time, same station. Try not ta let Tha Man getcha til then.
Peace out, foos.
--------------------
LOLSCHACH's Journal: April 18, 2009
Not entirely sure how FROSCHACH could possibly be related to myself. Found cassette tape recording of broadcast lying under bookshelf in basement of library. Have checked public records at WKKK circa 1972. No documentation of a "FROSCHACH's Fifteen Minutes of Funk" program ever existing. Quite possible this was demo tape. Very, very unorthodox demo tape.
Either way, it must be destroyed to preserve family heritage. No one must know of black sheep in LOLSCHACH family tree.
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