Monday, September 14, 2009

September 15, 2009: The Mercy of LOLSCHACH

LOLSCHACH's Journal: September 15, 2009

Tonight is the night. Cannot abide Veidt's wrong-doings any longer. Will end him tonight. No distractions. Veidt must die for the good of mankind. For the good of LOLSCHACH. Slow night, anyway.

Night has fallen. Under cover of darkness, hop gate into front yard of Cinnamon Sprinkles Manor. Why Veidt chose to name mansion such a thing, LOLSCHACH may never understand.

Approach study. Prepare to launch SCHACH-erang through window, burst into study, catch Veidt by surprise and end him with firepoker through eye-socket.

Remember there is no such thing as SCHACH-erang. Stupid idea. Use front door, instead. Veidt gave LOLSCHACH spare keys earlier this year.

Enter manor. Begin creeping down hall toward study. Hear strange noise. Unearthly. Tragic. The sound of...a grown man crying?

Peek through crack in door into study. Veidt is on knees at the feet of his life-size Patrick Swayze statue. Veidt is sobbing uncontrollably. Weeping a streaming torrent of tears into shimmering puddle, pooling at Swayze's marble toes.

Heard the news. Patrick Swayze has died this day. He is now a ghost. Like in that movie. Can't remember title. "Point Break"?

Had forgotten Veidt's everlasting emotional bond with Swayze. Has taken death hard. Veidt is weak. Defenseless. Could dispatch him now.

No. This is not LOLSCHACH's way. Have been adversaries with Veidt for decades. Ending him in such a manner would be...anticlimactic.

Besides, Veidt is suffering. Veidt's suffering pleases LOLSCHACH. Veidt is likely praying for Swayze's spirit to come to him, perhaps while he is making pottery. Hurm.

Leave Cinnamon Sprinkles Manor. Will return another night. Final showdown with Veidt has been postponed.


  1. LOLSCHACH, you are indeed merciful. Oh well. Since you can't beat up Veidt, beat on Dreiburg instead. You'll feel better.

  2. Wherefore art thou, Lolschach?

  3. Come back, LOLSCHACH! We need you! We miss you! We even LOVE you! D':

  4. Where, oh where has our lolschach gone? Where, oh where could he be?