Wednesday, March 25, 2009

March 25, 2009: Veidt's Place (again)

LOLSCHACH'S Journal: March 25, 2009

Perhaps greatest disappointment in crime fighting career has been inability to bring Adrian Veidt to justice.

Night falls. Return to Veidt's dwelling once again to search for incriminating evidence.

Prepare to enter through living room window. Window broken (December 26th investigation). Attempt entry through kitchen window. Window broken (January 18th investigation). Move toward lavatory window. Window broken (January 19th investigation). Try window in den. Also broken (February 21st investigation).

Trend continues for some time. Eventually find unbroken window in study.

Break window. Enter study.

Ignite flashlight. Make way toward filing cabinets. Filing cabinets in compartment behind Monet painting, filing cabinets in compartment beneath decorative William Shakespear bust, filing cabinets in compartment beneath hand-knit Guatamalen throw rug and filing cabinets in compartment behind Andy Warhol original have all failed to provide required evidence in the past. Perhaps filing cabinets in compartment beneath life-size Patrick Swayze replica will show results.

Begin searching Swayze for hidden switches. Eyes, ear, nose...activate nothing. Stomach churns as I press nipples. Solid marble. Hurm. Saved searching Patrick Swayze cabinets last for good reason.

Eventually find hidden switch in...nether regions. Will not detail any further.

Begin flipping through files. Several transactions made with mysterious organization called NAMBLA. Will have to investigate organization later.

Without warning, lights turn on. Veidt is standing in doorway. Wearing purple satin night gown. Looks upset. Tells me so.

"Oh god dammit, LOLSCHACH! Really? Again? You have got to be kidding me! I don't even bother replacing my windows anymore! For God's sake...This is why I gave you that spare key! Ugh! Look, when you're done, just...just...go out the window you came in through, or fuck, the front door? Please? Could you do that for me!?"

Veidt turns out light and returns to bed. Continue searching files. Nothing concrete. No choice but to return another night and continue search.

Grab potted plant. Launch it through laundry room window. Hear shrill "Fuuuuuuuuck!" coming from direction of Veidt's bedroom.

Leave quickly.


  1. Haha, another great blog. :D I wonder if Rorschach will ever find incriminating evidence on Adrian. . .

    Oh, and I found another funny Rorschach image:
    I hope it is helpful!