Note from Chief Inspector Frederick Abberline: Have called upon one of our best agents to help solve the Whitechapel Murders (aka The Ripper Case). Unfortunately doesn't seem to be much help. But I have constant faith we will solve these murders swiftly and without further fatalities.
Whitechapel Murders Report filed 12 November 1888 by Inspector Wordsworth Pennyschach III:
Upon the twilight of Friday's past, a prostitute (or "whore" as the juvenile sect refer to them) died in a most shocking and repugnant manner. Her throat was slit, her heart sliced out and I am fairly certain further mutilations of the ghastly, sexual variety were also perpetrated upon her person. Most uncouth, indeed.
Tis but one in a string of similar perpetrations to which I have been summoned to resolve. The evening gazettes have dubbed this fiend "Jack the Ripper". A most curious moniker, considering "Jack" does not so much "rip" the parts of his victims out, but neatly slices them like a fine piece of cutlery through a good blood pudding.
It would seem that every shilling-hungry bloke in London "knows" the identity of this madman, though naturally none of their stories corroborate. These mischievous miscreants scarcely leave me with any choice but to resort to fisticuffs to reach the root of the problem. Although I recover my spent shilling from the vermin, I shall never-the-less be forced to spend it at the cleaners to remove their crimson from my gloves. Hurm.
My nightly investigations have not been a fruitless endeavor. I have constructed a list of possible suspects and narrowed it down accordingly.
Dvir Dreiberg - A local poulterer. A popular speculation has it that the Ripper could be a butcher, considering his precision removal of select anatomical pieces. Stopped by his abode shortly following tea time. A terribly bloated man, most unsightly; he was shocked to see me and flustered easily. However, his weight reduces him to a poor candidate, as the Ripper has a propensity for quick work, and the only thing this Dreiberg fellow can accomplish quickly is the devouring of scones.
The American Doctor - Another common rumor carrying about the streets is that of an American doctor paying visits to the ladies of Whitechapel. As with Mr. Dreiberg, the American Doctor's knowledge of human anatomy would seem to sling well with the Ripper's. Following up on his case, however, proved that the Doctor had a solid alibi in New York on the nights of Mary Ann Nichols' and Annie Chapman's deaths. A man could not be in two places at once...could he?
Another Prostitute - A suspicion with, regrettably, the least amount of supporting evidence. It is entirely possible than an aging "whore" has grown jealous of her younger, more profitable peers. Or perhaps she has simply come to loathe the lifestyle. Hurm. The primary objection to this theory is that we all must question whether a woman has the courage to act on her own in such a daring fashion.
My final suspect is the most dangerous of them all. I dare say I almost did not include him in this report due to the possible consequences.
A.V. - A member of the royal family. Yes, this is a most grave accusation. But rumors have A.V. seen consorting among prostitutes; indeed there is even a persistent rumor he may have even had an illegitimate child with one of them. Perhaps this is a royal conspiracy launched in A.V.'s name. Have also heard tales of his involvement with the Cleveland Street brothel. Possible homosexual? Would certainly explain his hatred of women. Shall make specific note encouraging further investigations.
With all sincerity, I hope this report will aid in the discovery of the truth behind these murders, whatever its true nature. I realize my accusations, particularly those made toward the Crown, could have harsh consequences. But I am prepared to meet them.
Inspector Wordsworth Pennyschach III
12 November 1888
LOLSCHACH's Journal: May 02, 2009
Occasionally pull out case files of crimes committed. Aids in current cases. Find that crime is often repeated in patterns. Suspects tend to follow trends. Could be useful information in future encounters.
Regrettably, this is of no use what-so-ever. Pennyschach failed to solve crime. Jack the Ripper escaped justice. Case files written by failure are worse then useless; they are embarrassing.