Returned from Chocovania. Battle with monsters. Fun stuff. Wears one out. Normal person would rest, eat Cheetos in front of television blaring Abercrombie models attempting to sing, pleasure self, call it a night. LOLSCHACH not a normal person.
The wind howled through the empty streets begging me to join it. Could not resist. Make rounds. Happy Harry's deserted. Rumor that I'm back in town perhaps? Criminals are a superstitious and cowardly -- no, must stop. Sounding like sadistic pederast. Hurm.
Then recall last visit to Veidt's. Pissed him off. Liked that. I will go to the world's smartest man's apartment and confirm once and for all his homosexuality.
See Veidt has replaced all windows since last visit. If I ever smiled, I would now. Smash through one, satisfied by the crash of glass. Sounds like symphony to ears.
Adjust to surroundings. Veidt rearranged. No doubt did interior decorating himself. Look through new bookshelf. See CD collection. Start investigating. Ricky Martin. Melissa Etheridge. k.d. lang. George Michael. NSYNC. Then something horrible.
Queen?
Queen. Ehhh. Odd. Other CDs would confirm suspicions of Veidt. But Queen?
Remember old days. Riding in Owl Ship with Dreiberg. "We Will Rock You" blaring through speakers. Knocking around Moloch. Good times. Dreiberg always played "We Are The Champions" on return flight. Sometimes Dreiberg played "Fat Bottomed Girls". Hated that. Ironic Dreiberg would like song with "fat" in title.
Should not be surprised. Remember time when Veidt tagged along. Played "Flash Gordon" theme song at high volume. Sang along. Dreiberg had to restrain me from dropping him from altitude of 15,000 feet.
This new development brings doubt into Veidt theory. Anyone who likes Queen cannot possibly be homosexual.
Fire grapple gun through new skylight. Glass shatters down onto carpet. Like soft rain on the city's rooftops. Exit Veidt's. Go home. Put on Greatest Hits. Will rock me.
As always LOLSCHACH, you bring light to this dark, damp pit of a world. Where the women are obsessed with looking like whores, and the children are amused by talking sponges and starfish. You and I are the last of a dying breed, who will stand in the face of corruption when we are gone?
ReplyDeletePerhaps we should take on sidekicks...
Yeah, there's nothing more pleasant than another broken window in Veidt's. That's really home sound, isn't it? And after battling the Chocula LOLSCHACH deserves little fun.
ReplyDeleteWell, another great entry written by LOLSCHACH. One of the most fascinating moments of my daily routine - reading it.