Monday, May 11, 2009

May 11, 2009: Internet Fad

LOLSCHACH's JOURNAL: May 11, 2009:

Hate the Internet. A rabid she-wolf that devours the world so she can nurse the mangy pups nuzzled at her poison teat. But LOLSCHACH is immune to her contagion. Credit upbringing. Heh.

Went to library to use Internet. All computers occupied; a dozen diseased pups lined up and sucking away. Knew what to do. Stood behind schoolgirl. While waiting, peered over her shoulder. Saw her looking at websites on hydroelectric dams, scribbling notes in notebook marked "Science." (Possibly plotting terrorist acts? Must remember to investigate.) Within five minutes, schoolgirl left. Held her nose as she passed me. Common gang sign, seen it many times. Expresses fear of LOLSCHACH.

Sit down, do usual routine: One minute checking email. Ten minutes finding subliminal messages at Communist front One hour investigating murder of robotics engineer Evan Chan, still unsolved after eight years.

Suspect involvement of Anti-Robot Militia. Still no solid proof.

Finish with 30 minutes of web searches on old enemies. No news on Marduk. No news on Squid.

But Veidt had joined Twitter:


Not surprising. Twitter is stage for prima donnas to parade egos before world. Emptiness disguised by sparkle of high technology. Success based on herd mentality, celebrity worship. Perfect fit for Veidt.

And useful for LOLSCHACH. By following Veidt's "Tweets," will see patterns emerge. Gaps in public image. Subconscious confessions of past crimes. Details of future ones. Weaknesses to exploit.

Admits having "miscalculated the popularity boom of Twitter by 3.5 months." Mentions fear of global warming, construction of "Ice Ray". Says he "dropped ... off" ex-Watchbuster Blake.


Try to add Veidt Twitter feed to sidebar of LOLSCHACH's JOURNAL. Can't. Need access to Veidt's Twitter account. Blocked. Call librarian for help. Tells me it would require "hacking Twitter." Not sure what that means. Have hacked many things, but never heard of hacking computers. Tell librarian to "hack Twitter" for me. Refuses, says illegal. Grab his pinkie, threaten to break it. Complies. Now able to view Viedt's thoughts on right-hand sidebar of LOLSCHACH's JOURNAL.

Before leaving, break librarian's pinkie. Punish him. Thought he could avoid pain by compromising his principles.

Don't tell me he didn't have a choice.

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